I Remember...
I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was April 19, 1995.
It was a beautiful sunshiny spring day…the kind of day that has the potential to be a really great day.
I was not supposed to be where I was on this particular day. I was supposed to be downtown…across the street from the Alfred P. Murrah Building. For some reason…I’m not sure why…I changed my appointment time to another day. This action on my part proved to be a lifesaver.
When the bomb exploded at 9:02 a.m., I was standing in a small outdoor parking lot. I heard the noise in the distance and felt the ground vibrate, but I did not know what it was at the time. The chaos had yet to begin. I drove to the other side of the hospital campus to attend a business meeting and while I was walking through the hospital emergency room, I noticed a crowd gathered around the waiting room television.
I had one of those moments…you know the kind…where I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Surely this could not be happening in downtown Oklahoma City. I was so wrong.
The day was a blur. I alternated between disbelief, anger and extreme sadness. My staff wanted to go home and be with their families, so I closed our office by noon that day and sent everyone home. Hell…I wanted to go home!
I then tried to call my son’s school and could not get through. This was a problem many experienced that day as most of the circuits were busy. I ended up driving to my son’s school in the early afternoon and had to park three blocks away because I was not the only parent who wanted to pick their child up early that day.
When I finally reached the school, I was immediately approached by the school secretary who my son had bonded with over the last couple of years. She was the kind soul who would give him his afternoon medication after the school nurse had left for the day. She embraced me and said with tears in her eyes that she was so happy to see me. And proceeded to explain how my son had been quite upset because he was convinced I had a meeting downtown that morning. I told her that I moved the appointment a few days ago. She squeezed my hand and told me I had an outstanding guardian angel. I smiled and agreed with her.
As I walked down to my son’s classroom, I realized that no learning was happening today. The kids were too upset…my son included. My son saw me immediately and ran to my side. He grabbed my hand and told me how happy he was to see me. I had no words at that moment…just raw emotion…so I hugged him tightly. I then took his hand and we walked hand-in-hand all the way back to my car.
The days and weeks that followed proved to be brutal. Our community rallied together in our grief. Instead of succumbing to our pain and sorrow…we became a stronger and more unified city.
I remember attending 17 different funerals and I cried at every single one of them. I cried because of their lives being cut short…I cried because they didn’t get to realize all their dreams…and I cried because they didn’t get to say goodbye. I think that was the hardest for all the loved ones they left behind.
I’m not one to dwell on the past, but this tragedy was a hard pill to swallow. To this day, I try not talk about it...or to remember the feelings I felt during that particular April. Not because I want to forget…but because my pain is still so raw…even 16 years later.
One of these days, I’m determined to have the fortitude to walk into the Oklahoma City National Memorial and Museum. Until that day comes, I will journey to the reflection pool…gaze at the field of chairs that represent the victims who lost their lives that day…and sit quietly under the survivor tree…A tree that withstood the full force of the attack…even when everything else in that lot did not.
I remember...
I will always remember.
I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was April 19, 1995.
It was a beautiful sunshiny spring day…the kind of day that has the potential to be a really great day.
I was not supposed to be where I was on this particular day. I was supposed to be downtown…across the street from the Alfred P. Murrah Building. For some reason…I’m not sure why…I changed my appointment time to another day. This action on my part proved to be a lifesaver.
When the bomb exploded at 9:02 a.m., I was standing in a small outdoor parking lot. I heard the noise in the distance and felt the ground vibrate, but I did not know what it was at the time. The chaos had yet to begin. I drove to the other side of the hospital campus to attend a business meeting and while I was walking through the hospital emergency room, I noticed a crowd gathered around the waiting room television.
I had one of those moments…you know the kind…where I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Surely this could not be happening in downtown Oklahoma City. I was so wrong.
The day was a blur. I alternated between disbelief, anger and extreme sadness. My staff wanted to go home and be with their families, so I closed our office by noon that day and sent everyone home. Hell…I wanted to go home!
I then tried to call my son’s school and could not get through. This was a problem many experienced that day as most of the circuits were busy. I ended up driving to my son’s school in the early afternoon and had to park three blocks away because I was not the only parent who wanted to pick their child up early that day.
When I finally reached the school, I was immediately approached by the school secretary who my son had bonded with over the last couple of years. She was the kind soul who would give him his afternoon medication after the school nurse had left for the day. She embraced me and said with tears in her eyes that she was so happy to see me. And proceeded to explain how my son had been quite upset because he was convinced I had a meeting downtown that morning. I told her that I moved the appointment a few days ago. She squeezed my hand and told me I had an outstanding guardian angel. I smiled and agreed with her.
As I walked down to my son’s classroom, I realized that no learning was happening today. The kids were too upset…my son included. My son saw me immediately and ran to my side. He grabbed my hand and told me how happy he was to see me. I had no words at that moment…just raw emotion…so I hugged him tightly. I then took his hand and we walked hand-in-hand all the way back to my car.
The days and weeks that followed proved to be brutal. Our community rallied together in our grief. Instead of succumbing to our pain and sorrow…we became a stronger and more unified city.
I remember attending 17 different funerals and I cried at every single one of them. I cried because of their lives being cut short…I cried because they didn’t get to realize all their dreams…and I cried because they didn’t get to say goodbye. I think that was the hardest for all the loved ones they left behind.
I’m not one to dwell on the past, but this tragedy was a hard pill to swallow. To this day, I try not talk about it...or to remember the feelings I felt during that particular April. Not because I want to forget…but because my pain is still so raw…even 16 years later.
One of these days, I’m determined to have the fortitude to walk into the Oklahoma City National Memorial and Museum. Until that day comes, I will journey to the reflection pool…gaze at the field of chairs that represent the victims who lost their lives that day…and sit quietly under the survivor tree…A tree that withstood the full force of the attack…even when everything else in that lot did not.
I remember...
I will always remember.
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